Learn about wedding gifts and the proper way to make a concession
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| INTRODUCTION |
| David: Welcome to chineseclass101.com. I am David. |
| Echo: Hi, 大家好, 我是 (Dàjiā hǎo, wǒ shì) Echo. |
| David: And we are here with upper intermediate, season 1, Lesson 22. Deciding on the Perfect Wedding Gift in China. |
| Echo: 唔，这个婚礼的礼物或者说婚礼的红包。 (Wú, zhège hūnlǐ de lǐwù huòzhě shuō hūnlǐ de hóngbāo.) |
| David: Yes. So… |
| Echo: 唔, 这个在中国是非常非常重要的文化。 (Wú, zhège zài zhōngguó shì fēicháng fēicháng zhòngyào de wénhuà.) |
| David: Yes. If you are at the upper intermediate level, you already know how important this is. |
| Echo: 没错。 (Méi cuò.) |
| David: So we figured we throw a lesson at you about it. |
| Echo: 今天的对话是发生在两个同事之间。 (Jīntiān de duìhuà shì fāshēng zài liǎng gè tóngshì zhī jiān.) |
| David: Yes and they are talking about the upcoming marriage of a friend. Speaking casual Mandarin as always. So Echo, what is the – what’s the perfect 红包 amount. |
| DIALOGUE |
| A 你去参加小张的婚礼吗？ (A Nǐ qù cānjiā xiǎo zhāng de hūnlǐ ma?) |
| B 还没想好到底去不去。 (B Hái méi xiǎng hǎo dàodǐ qù bu qù.) |
| A 不是收到请柬了吗？ (A Bù shì shōudào qǐngjiǎn le ma?) |
| B 没错。可我最近手头有点儿紧。总不能空着手去参加人家婚礼吧？ (B Méicuò. Kě wǒ zuìjìn shǒu tóu yǒu diǎnr jǐn. Zǒngbùnéng kōngzheshǒu qù cānjiārénjiā hūnlǐ ba?) |
| A 随便包个红包不就得了。 (A Suíbiàn bāo ge hóngbāo bù jiù dé le.) |
| B 凭我和小张的关系，钱少了拿不出手，钱多了我又有点儿舍不得。 (B Píng wǒ hé xiǎo zhāng de guānxi, qián shǎo le ná bùchūshǒu, qián duō le wǒ yòuyǒudiǎn ér shěbùdé.) |
| A 可你就是不去，也得送份礼意思意思呀。 (A Kě nǐ jiùshì bù qù, yě děi sòng fèn lǐ yìsi yìsi ya.) |
| B 也是。去了还能白吃一顿。 (B Yě shì. Qù le hái néng báichī yī dùn.) |
| A 再说了，将来等你结婚的时候，他不是还得还礼？ (A Zàishuōle, jiānglái děng nǐ jiéhūn de shíhou, tā bù shì hái děi huán lǐ?) |
| A: Are you going to attend Xiao Zhang's wedding? |
| B: I'm still not sure whether I should go. |
| A: Haven't you already received an invitation? |
| B: Sure, but I've been a bit short of cash, and I can't go and attend someone's wedding empty-handed. |
| A: Just give him a red bag. It should be fine. |
| B: Given my relationship with Xiao Zhang, giving too little would be embarrassing, and I can't afford to give too much. |
| A: But even if you don't go, don't you still have to send some sort of wedding gift? |
| B: You are right. At least I can enjoy a free meal if I go. |
| A: And when you get married in the future, doesn't he have to return the favor? |
| POST CONVERSATION BANTER |
| David: So Echo, what's the perfect Hongbao amount? |
| Echo: 这要看你跟结婚的人的关系, 如果你们是很好的朋友，差不多是在800 左右。如果你可能就是很普通的同事，就是认识, 可能就是500左右。 (Zhè yào kàn nǐ gēn jiéhūn de rén de guānxì, rúguǒ nǐmen shì hěn hǎo de péngyǒu, chàbùduō shì zài 800 zuǒyòu. Rúguǒ nǐ kěnéng jiùshì hěn pǔtōng de tóngshì, jiùshì rènshì, kěnéng jiùshì 500 zuǒyòu.) |
| David: So in China, it’s cheaper to have a few good friends than to know a lot of people. |
| Echo: 唔，但是这个 trick thing 是如果你的同事结婚了，你不管去不去，都应该给红包。 (Wú, dànshì zhège trick thing shì rúguǒ nǐ de tóngshì jiéhūnle, nǐ bùguǎn qù bù qù, dōu yīnggāi gěi hóngbāo.) |
| David: Yes it can be expensive to know people. Anyway, our vocab today is all of course about weddings and gifts… |
| Echo: 没错。 (Méi cuò.) |
| David: Let’s get to it. |
| VOCAB LIST |
| Echo: 婚礼。 (Hūnlǐ.) |
| David: Wedding ceremony. |
| Echo: 婚 礼, 婚礼, 手头。 (hūn lǐ, hūnlǐ, Shǒutóu.) |
| David: At hand. |
| Echo: 手 头, 手头, 包红包。 (Shǒu tóu, Shǒutóu, bāo hóngbāo.) |
| David: To wrap a red bag. |
| Echo: 包 红 包, 包红包, 凭。 (bāo hóng bāo, bāo hóngbāo, píng.) |
| David: Depending on. |
| Echo: 凭, 凭, 意思意思。 (píng, píng, yìsi yìsi.) |
| David: To show one’s appreciation. |
| Echo: 意 思 意 思, 意思意思, 还礼。 (yì si yì si, yìsi yìsi, huán lǐ.) |
| David: To return a favor. |
| Echo: 还 礼, 还礼, 拿不出手。 (huán lǐ, huán lǐ, nábùchū shǒu.) |
| David: Too embarrassing to show. |
| Echo: 拿 不 出 手, 拿不出手, 白吃。 (ná bù chū shǒu, nábùchū shǒu, báichī.) |
| David: To eat for free. |
| Echo: 白 吃, 白吃。 (bái chī, báichī.) |
| VOCAB AND PHRASE USAGE |
| David: Let’s have a closer look at some of these words and phrases. |
| Echo: 第一个词是婚礼。 (Dì yī gè cí shì hūnlǐ.) |
| David: Wedding ceremony. |
| Echo: 婚礼。 (Hūnlǐ.) |
| David: Wedding ceremony. |
| Echo: 参加婚礼的时候一般要 包红包。 (Cānjiā hūnlǐ de shíhòu yībān yào bāo hóngbāo.) |
| David: When you go to a wedding ceremony, you’ve got to wrap a red bag. |
| Echo: 对，这个非常中国对吧！ (Duì, zhège fēicháng zhōngguó duì ba!) |
| David: Yes. |
| Echo: 参加婚礼的时候一般要包红包。 (Cānjiā hūnlǐ de shíhòu yībān yào bāo hóngbāo.) |
| David: Although it’s not really a bag, it’s an envelope these days. |
| Echo: 对。 (Duì.) |
| David: And it’s an envelope with something inside. |
| Echo: Ah, 当然是钱了！ (Dāngrán shì qiánle!) |
| David: Yes. |
| Echo: 对, 大家不要担心, 不是我们要给大家一个大包, 然后让大家把所有的钱都放在里面, 就是 一个红色的信封。 (Duì, dàjiā bùyào dānxīn, bùshì wǒmen yào gěi dàjiā yì gè dà bāo, ránhòu ràng dàjiā bǎ suǒyǒu de qián dōu fàng zài lǐmiàn, jiùshì yīgè hóngsè de xìnfēng.) |
| David: Yes and I am sure checks are acceptable too but yeah, if you go to wedding, you’ve got to bring a 红包 (Hóngbāo). |
| Echo: 没错, 要带一个红包。 (Méi cuò, yào dài yīgè hóngbāo.) |
| David: Right and the verb is to wrap. |
| Echo: 包，包红包，就好像包饺子这样的。 (Bāo,bāohóngbāo, jiù hǎoxiàng bāo jiǎozi zhèyàng de.) |
| David: Yes. |
| Echo: 所以如果你跟这个结婚的人关系不是说特别好，你包红包的时候只要意思意思就可以了。 (Suǒyǐ rúguǒ nǐ gēn zhège jiéhūn de rén guānxì bùshì shuō tèbié hǎo, nǐ bāo hóngbāo de shíhòu zhǐyào yìsi yìsi jiù kěyǐle.) |
| David: Yeah. You don’t need to have that much money but it has to be something. |
| Echo: 对, 意思意思。 (Duì, yìsi yìsi.) |
| David: Literally it has to have a meaning. |
| Echo: 对, 要给对方一点面子, 需要意思意思。 (Duì, yào gěi duìfāng yīdiǎn miànzi, xūyào yìsi yìsi.) |
| David: Right and you say Echo that the lower limit on this is 500? |
| Echo: Ah……. 就是500左右吧！一般也要看什么地方，我觉得在北京差不多。 (Jiùshì 500 zuǒyòu ba! Yībān yě yào kàn shénme dìfāng, wǒ juédé zài běijīng chàbùduō.) |
| David: So Beijing and Shanghai are a bit more expensive. You can’t get away with a 100 quay anymore. |
| Echo: No. |
| David: Those days are past. |
| Echo: No way. No, 就算是200 也不成了, 太少了。 (Jiùsuàn shì 200 yě bùchéngle, tài shǎole.) |
| David: Okay. The last word we have is the head of the hand. |
| Echo: 手头。 (Shǒutóu.) |
| David: Which means something like at hand. |
| Echo: 对, 手头, 比如说我最近手头里没有钱，所以不能包大红包。 (Duì, shǒutóu, bǐrú shuō wǒ zuìjìn shǒutóu li méiyǒu qián, suǒyǐ bùnéng bāo dà hóngbāo.) |
| David: Yeah. I don’t have any money at hand. |
| Echo: 我最近手头里没有钱。 (Wǒ zuìjìn shǒutóu li méiyǒu qián.) |
| David: Right. So remember, that’s a bit different than English because in Chinese, we put it before a verb. |
| Echo: 手头没有钱。 (Shǒutóu méiyǒu qián.) |
Lesson focus |
|---|
| David: Right. So that’s our vocab section today. Now, let’s move on to our grammar point. It’s grammar time. What’s our grammar point today? |
| Echo: 今天我们的语法点在这个句子里, “ 可你就是不去, 也得送份礼意思意思呀。” (Jīntiān wǒmen de yǔfǎ diǎn zài zhège jùzi lǐ, “kě nǐ jiùshì bù qù, yě dé sòng fèn lǐ yìsi yìsi ya.”) |
| David: Let’s take a look at that first section. |
| Echo: 可你就是不去。 (Kě nǐ jiùshì bù qù.) |
| David: But even if you don’t go, |
| Echo: 可你就是不去。 (Kě nǐ jiùshì bù qù.) |
| David: But even if you don’t go and we want to take a look at this pattern. |
| Echo: 可.......就是.......。 (Kě....... Jiùshì........) |
| David: Right with the subject in the middle. |
| Echo: 可你就是...... (Kě nǐ jiùshì......) |
| David: And then the verb. |
| Echo: 对。 (Duì.) |
| David: But even if you don’t go |
| Echo: 可你就是不去...... (Kě nǐ jiùshì bù qù......) |
| David: And then what happens |
| Echo: 也得送份礼意思意思呀。 (Yě dé sòng fèn lǐ yìsi yìsi ya.) |
| David: Right and we see 也 in this pattern as well a lot. |
| Echo: 对，这个结构非常非常口语，很地道。 (Duì, zhège jiégòu fēicháng fēicháng kǒuyǔ, hěn dìdào.) |
| David: Yeah especially with that 可 (Kě) at the front. |
| Echo: 对。 (Duì.) |
| David: Because it’s not 可是 especially with that 可 (Kě) in the front. |
| Echo: 对，它不就是 “可是”，它是一个非常口语的 “可”。 (Duì, tā bù jiùshì “kěshì”, tā shì yīgè fēicháng kǒuyǔ de “kě”.) |
| David: Right. So it’s getting shortened because it’s a colloquial abbreviation. We have a couple more examples for you. Echo, |
| Echo: 可我就是手头再紧，红包也不能不给。 (Kě wǒ jiùshì shǒutóu zài jǐn, hóngbāo yě bùnéng bù gěi.) |
| David: But even if I am more strapped for cash, I cannot give a red envelope. |
| Echo: 对,可我就是手头再紧，红包也不能不给, 或者, 可礼物就是再拿不出手，也比什么都不送强。 (Duì, kě wǒ jiùshì shǒutóu zài jǐn, hóngbāo yě bùnéng bù gěi, huòzhě, kě lǐwù jiùshì zài ná bù chūshǒu, yě bǐ shénme dōu bù sòng qiáng.) |
| David: But even a really embarrassing gift is better than nothing. |
| Echo: 可礼物就是再拿不出手，也比什么都不送强。 (Kě lǐwù jiùshì zài ná bù chūshǒu, yě bǐ shénme dōu bù sòng qiáng.) |
| David: So this is a really colloquial way of saying even if. |
| Echo: 对，可.... subject …. 就是.......。 (Duì, kě.... Subject…. Jiùshì........) |
| David: Action and you can finally proceed to second clause with 也 as well. |
| Echo: 对，没错, 我们再给大家最后一个句子，婚礼收红包是传统，可我们就是不想收也没办法。 (Duì, méi cuò, wǒmen zài gěi dàjiā zuìhòu yīgè jùzi, hūnlǐ shōu hóngbāo shì chuántǒng, kě wǒmen jiùshì bùxiǎng shōu yě méi bànfǎ.) |
| David: It’s a tradition to get the 红包 at weddings but if we don’t, there is nothing that can be done about it. |
| Echo: 婚礼收红包是传统，可我们就是不想收也没办法。 (Hūnlǐ shōu hóngbāo shì chuántǒng, kě wǒmen jiùshì bùxiǎng shōu yě méi bànfǎ.) |
| David: So this isn’t a set grammar pattern like others that we’ve covered but it’s more of a common collocation. |
| Echo: 对。 (Duì.) |
| David: Where you see this pattern, you very frequently see the sentences starting with |
| Echo: 可..... (Kě.....) |
| David: So pay attention to this and you are going to hear it all the time. |
| Echo: 对。 (Duì.) |
Outro |
| David: For now though, that’s our lesson for today. |
| Echo: 如果大家对我们今天的课有什么问题。 (Rúguǒ dàjiā duì wǒmen jīntiān de kè yǒu shé me wèntí.) |
| David: Send us a note online. |
| Echo: 或者也可以给我们发邮件到 (Huòzhě yě kěyǐ gěi wǒmen fā yóujiàn dào) contactus@chineseclass101.com |
| David: And we will look forward to hearing from you. |
| Echo: 对。 (Duì.) |
| David: From Beijing, I am David. |
| Echo: 我是 (Wǒshì) Echo. |
| David: Thanks for listening and we will see you on the site. |
| Echo: 我们网上见。 (Wǒmen wǎngshàng jiàn.) Bye bye. |
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